


I’ll be fine.

by Lirema



Series: Sanders Celeste [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: One Shot, sloppy writing is sloppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24168550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirema/pseuds/Lirema
Summary: He could’ve sworn he was dreaming.
Series: Sanders Celeste [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744603
Kudos: 15





	I’ll be fine.

If Virgil didn’t know any better, he would’ve presumed Deceit was asleep. He thought he heard something sharp, a gasp for air, a bump in the night-and he could’ve sworn he was dreaming.

Ah, but what’s a dream to an insomniac?

The moment he opens the door out of his room, the moment he races to the scene. He kneels down before the snake lying on his side, frozen among a sea of red below him. It’s incredibly late, god knows why Deceit of all people would be up at this time, but he can see it glisten and bleed. On an average day, he would’ve left him alone, probably spat at his face and called him a bitch like the two-faced conniving snake deserved. But when your instincts take over…

With one arm wrapped below Deceit’s shoulder, another on his side, he draws him as close and carefully as possible. Deceit hisses as a response, clutching the gash in his chest and struggling to breathe. God, there’s so much blood. Virgil can feel himself trembling, shuddering to hold what felt like a lump in his heart.

“Virgil?”

He wished he hadn’t caught it. That faint tone, the sharp wince as he bleeds profusely. If he hadn’t caught it, his eyes wouldn’t be swelling up with tears, mixing with his eyeshadow, irritating his vision a bit. And believe him, he was more than irritated. He wanted to punch that stupid face, scream at him why, why are you looking at me like that with your paper thin eyes and that tiny smirk?

“I’ll be fine, Virgil,” Deceit breathes, as if all the labor in his breath went into saying those four words.

“Don’t…” Virgil bites his lip. Why was this so hard? Why can’t he say anything without the tears tracing down his cheeks, you idiot? He knows what he wants to say, and yet when he looks into that pale, scaly face…

“Don’t what?” Deceit breathes again, hissing again at his chest, but still trying to keep that faint smirk, “Use your words, Virgil.”

“Don’t-just shut up, goddammit…” He growls, grits his teeth as more tears fall. 

He knows he’s not as eloquent with his words as Deceit is-god knows how he manages to still be a conceited little bitch even in his final hour-and he despises it. This is the last time he’ll see him like this, and he knows it, it’s just...why can’t he accept it? Was he really expecting something else? For a desperate cry, an apology for all the times the snake drove his anxiety off the roof? For someone to cry with him, so he doesn’t feel as stupid as he is right now, cradling the Side he hated the most like a child? This shouldn’t be happening. There was literally no reason for this to happen. That’s why he told him to shut up: so every word sucking the life out of Deceit’s breath wouldn’t sting. So he could just wither away peacefully without him questioning every last word said through a stupid smirk. That smirk that tore him apart. How could he smile at this? How could he still speak as if nothing’s wrong? How dare he-

“I’ll be fine...Virgil,” Deceit winces once again before choking on his own blood, coughing wildly to the side.

Virgil draws him closer as Deceit wheezes, his breathing erratic and violent, the blood spilling even more...And in that moment, despite all his worries and resentment for the snake, he cups his hand on the scaly side of his face and lifts his head.

“Deceit, look at me.”

He can’t seem to do so, all he can do is gasp for air.

“Look at me, damn it!” He cries, “You think this is a joke? You think you can look and smirk at me all your life as if you know everything? Then look! Look or shut your goddamn mouth! Because if anything that comes out of your mouth is “everything’s fine”, then you might as well be wasting your breath.”

Now Virgil can’t bear to look at him. He feels as if he’s drowning in a sea of blood and tears. Sobbing like the stupid idiot he is. He can’t even comfort him for the rest of his shallow life. What kind of stupid speech was that? Why couldn’t he just tell him to save his breath and die peacefully without forcing himself to speak and comfort him? Deceit, comforting him, lying to him that it’ll all be fine. That’s what bothered him the most. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. He should be comforting him instead. That’s why he can’t bear to look at him. Why he breaks down further after those two simple words.

“I’m sorry,” He croaks with a single tear tracing down his face.

“Don’t…” he begs as the tears drown his voice, “Don’t say that to me…”

“Virgil…”

“Please, don’t…”

“I’m sorry,” Deceit whispers under his final breath.

And he can’t accept that. He can’t accept that being the final word. The last word. Because it meant that he’d take that apology to his grave. That he actually cared for Virgil. That he was too scared to tell him the truth. That Virgil scared him into telling the truth. This was all his fault. There’s no snake, no snarky remark telling him that it “totally wasn’t his fault at all”. He never realized how much he missed that voice until it was gone. It was stupid. It was the stupidest thing, the worst possible thing that could happen. Yet it did. And he couldn’t accept that. He’d try shaking him, calling his name, desperately pleading for him to wake up. 

Until he opened his eyes to the glazed, lifeless eyes staring back at him. 

He chokes on his breath. That smile was gone. That smile he wanted to be rid of so badly. He got what he wanted. And he hated it. So he’d shut Deceit’s eyes and just scream. Scream until the voices in his head stopped mocking him or until he’d lose his voice. Scream until the wave of his tears took over and he’d draw his lifeless body in a desperate embrace for as long as he could. He knew both of them despised hugs, but fuck it, it’s too late for him now. He thinks he hears the footsteps of another Side coming, and he thinks he feels them trying to embrace them both, but he doesn’t care. A tidal wave of emotions drowns him over, and all he can do is cry all his feelings out until he can admit that Deceit is gone. Janus is gone. And it’s all his fault. He wishes this was all a dream. He swears it was all a dream. A trick of the mind, a plot by the snake himself or some other Side…

He opened his eyes for a moment, wishing he’d open them back to his room. Instead he hears the duke sobbing with him. If they’re sharing the same tears, the same dream…The blood on the floor, reflecting the sash of another Side…This was all a dream, but not for him. A beautiful dream for the prince, he presumed. One that he desperately wanted to destroy, if only to silence both his and Remus’ tears.

**Author's Note:**

> I drew a death scene for Deceit and then I decided it needed a story behind it. That’s my excuse for writing this half-baked angst, at least. Not sure if I should continue the story or not but oh well.


End file.
